My wrist begs

For both more and an end

More cuts and blood

An end to the pain and scars

The once perfect skin

Now holds secrets and sin

Heart break and blame

Wishes and dreams

Dreams of death

Blame on everyone else

Sin of a mortal soul

Sleeping Beauty

I feel like Sleeping Beauty

As good as dead till your kiss

I need your kiss to bring me back

But I guess I'll never be back

No one gets it

They tell me to move on

They really don't get it

I'll never be over you

You hold my heart

You took it with you

My heart is dead

So very literally

I bring a new meaning to the phrase

But then again

I've noticed that a lot recently

Without you here

Act

I put on an act

For my family and friends

Happy and cheery

What they want to see

As the real me hides

My pain grows stronger

The only answer for me

Seems to be to end my life

I'm falling down

And can't get up

I know I need help

But I'm scared to go

My world is crashing

Please save me

I don't know how much more

I can live to see

Roses

Make sure it's a black casket.

Black roses, black clothes.

The life I lived was filled with black.

So why not my afterlife?

Living life was a pain to me.

That's the reason I took my life.

Blades or knives I didn't care.

I cut myself anywhere.

And now my life is dead and gone.

At my funeral play a sad song.

Black casket, black roses.

Black clothes, black everything.

Please follow my one last request.

Black And Red

I fill the tub up just past halfway.

Pick up the blade from the counter.

And not bothering to strip, step into the tub.

I sit for five minutes, thinking, wondering, why?

Looking around all I see is black.

As I slit my wrist I see red.

The color is glorious and I must have more.

I push deeper and the blood pours from the wound.

Slipping into unconsciousness I see the black water filled with red.

My vision goes blurry, eyes slip shut.

This is a sleep, I'll never awake from.

As I

became depressed.

My friends started to worry.

My sister became obsessed.

I filled with furry.

You asked me to date you.

I said yes.

You asked me to marry you.

I bought a dress.

As I needed you most.

You disappeared.

Like a ghost.

I loved and feared.

I cut my wrists.

I started to smoke.

I'd make more slits.

As I took and new toke.

While my life ends.

I wonder how you've been.

As I go around the bends.

I'll never know when.

Cause life gives you twists.

And life gives you turns.

The scars on my wrists.

Are proof of those burns.

Questions

They don't get it...

Do they?

They don't understand...

Do you?

The pain is glorious...

Am I?

He says it's love...

Is it?

He told you forever...

Didn't he?

You believed it...

Didn't you?

He told you secrets...

Are they true?

As you think of all these questions, your mind's turning, churning, burning... You remember the words he said... "I'm nothing without you!"

Did you believe him?

By DeLaney

Oxygen

He smothers me...

He chokes my words away...

It's really hard to swallow with his hands around my throat.

I'm so freaking tired of "I told you so".

I push the blade a little deeper...

I wanna know if I'll live, but honestly I'm not sure...

It's bleeding out...

I cannot stop...

Too much ruby, crimson...

I close my eyes and beg for peace.

I ask my demons to quiet down...

Life was peaceful before he wrapped his twisted hands around my neck...

By DeLaney

Welcome Back

i welcome back my old friend. the feel of cold metal on warm skin.
the feel of blood coming forth.
the sting of the after math.
the feel of a puncturing blade.
i welcome it back.
and i promise to never keep it for too long but for a long enough time to hold me over. long enough to suffice until the next time.
or until the last time.
whether that means the last cut.
or the final cut that ends my life…
but my wrist…
it aches…
not from the cuts i made…
but because it wants more.
just as badly as i do.
will anyone reach out to help me i wonder.
will anyone accept my plea of desperation?
will anyone understand that this time i can’t stop the feeling?

Untitled

You say you love me

But you never stop by

I never see you

I always cry

You left me alone

In my hour of need

I couldn't wait

You called it greed

When you were on you yelled

I cried and confessed

I had decency to tell

Now you're pissed

I couldn't care less

He was there

So release your anger

And I'll stare

Alone

Why does everyone I love hurt me so bad? He'll never know how bad it hurts to see him with her everyday and not have him for myself. Even though its my fault. If I would have know I was losing the best thing I've ever had and probably will have I wouldn't have done it... I miss him and I still love him. Always have always will. You don't stop loving your first love. No matter how long they are with someone else or how bad they hurt you.

First Poem

Have you ever made a big mistake?

Loved someone with give and take?

Missed them more everyday?

Wished the pain would fade away?

If you have then you know

The deepness of my pain and sorrow.

I loved you once, I love you still

I never forgot you, I never will

Jared

A day in the dark

For a night in the light

It doesn’t seem to be worth it anymore

To spend my life this way

In the light

But mostly in the dark

Constantly wondering

What will happen next

Where the next turn is

How sharp it will be

If you will choose me

If you will love me

Or if you will choose her

And hurt me even more

Loving you without your love

Is like sleeping with your eyes open

It works some

But is not fully satisfying

And what it does fill

It will only fill for a short time

And even then I’m not satisfied

I worry that I never will be

It’s a fear I’m come to live with though

Because it’s a fear I will always have

JaJa

In life you were a role model

In death you are an inspiration

Not only to me

But to all friends and family

You kept me on the right path

Up till the very end

And even though we’re separated

Our love will never diminish

Love that wasn’t always spoken

But always known and returned

As us still living move along

I will never forget your love and care

And even though your presence can’t be seen

You will always be felt

Looking out for us

And walking along beside us

First Few

Secret Number 1) I could never hate you. Not even if I wanted to.

Secret Number 2) The realization that I can't live without you in my life scares me.

Secret Number 3) Talking to you as a friend kills me. But I can't not talk to you... :/

Secret Number 4) I'm always there for you no matter what and I hate how you don't repay the favor.

Secret Number 5) I hate myself and want to die...

Secret Number 6) I tell people I've stopped cutting, but I've just gotten good at hiding.