Welcome Back

i welcome back my old friend. the feel of cold metal on warm skin.
the feel of blood coming forth.
the sting of the after math.
the feel of a puncturing blade.
i welcome it back.
and i promise to never keep it for too long but for a long enough time to hold me over. long enough to suffice until the next time.
or until the last time.
whether that means the last cut.
or the final cut that ends my life…
but my wrist…
it aches…
not from the cuts i made…
but because it wants more.
just as badly as i do.
will anyone reach out to help me i wonder.
will anyone accept my plea of desperation?
will anyone understand that this time i can’t stop the feeling?